Hago

Just came from the marco polo for a writeshop on the revision of the rules and procedure of the ncip...i was the facilitator appointed in the spot...wud have loved to just sit down with the rest of the lawyers and perhaps nod off for a couple of seconds but,as facilitator,i did not have the option...i love my role,but sometimes,hago ra gyud...especially as i had no alternate throughout the entire session...my training in prp did matter though...all the power,glory and honor belong to my God

Logic

Research the following:1. Inductive reasoning;2. Deductive reasoning;3. Abductive reasoning.

Poligov

Ask your classmates for the assignment and for the references.

Welcome!

To students taking up philo 1(logic) and poligov at the usep ep, this is your worst nightmare signing on... Hehe. I will be posting assignments,updates,announcements( especially if walang klase) on this blog. So time to level up, hi-tech na ta karon.as usepians, i expect you to eat excellence for breakfast, resilience for lunch, determination for dinner and well-roundedness for snacks.

Waaaahhh….

That’s why my mom didn’t bring me to malls when I was a kid!

Yesterday, my dad and I went to Abreeza Mall with my nephews and nieces: Joshua, 10; Jannah, 9; Joseff, 7; and Jemimah, 6. Together with their mom (my sister Lotlot) and my brother-in-law, we had four grown-ups looking out for four kids. I kid you not; it was a high-intensity situation for me. I’m a licensed teacher and being with kids is not uncommon to me but remember that students are in a classroom and within school premises. As far as I was concerned, my students can do anything they wanted to do for as long as I don’t catch them doing it. Yesterday was a very different story and my usual laissez-faire attitude was ill-equipped to handle the situation as my nephews and nieces had the whole mall to destroy, to get lost in and to run the hell around! My eyes were darting to and fro when I don’t see any of the four and my heartbeat was erratic to say the least.

Being from Toril, which is a good part of 20 kilometers away from Abreeza, the kids were very excited as it was their first time to go in. They rode the motorized animal thingie, slid on the playground, and went on their own way (or so they thought). I’m ashamed to admit that I felt a bit embarrassed when they were shouting at each other to hurry along, threw a tantrum because we didn’t allow them to play in the arcade, and “Ooh!”-ed and “Aahh!”-ed at the automatic sliding doors and the open-sky rooftop. They had this wide-eyed wonder and idealistic innocence which, when compared to the jaded eyes and weary attitude of other shoppers, made them stood out.

Then we watched “Hugo” in 3D. It was their first time to watch 3D and this being so, we definitely drew stares from the other moviegoers.

“Hugo”, in a nutshell, is a story about brokenness and how it affects things in general and people in particular.

Which made me wonder; the kids’ naïveté against the adults’ cynicism, who was more broken?

Matthew 18: 3-4 says, “[T]ruly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” In effect, Jesus is telling us that a child-like attitude toward life is a prerequisite before entry into heaven. Take note- before entry!

Personally, I emerged out of childhood relatively unscathed. By the usual standards, I’m not irretrievably irreparable. But I must say that the wounds that did scathe made me un-childlike; untrusting, jaded, and a cynic. In a word, broken.

No drama here. I think that in one way or another, everybody gets broken by relationships, by circumstances, and by experiences. We think we learned from them but what we think we learned are not the only things we learned. Unconsciously, we also learn to be cautious, wary and distrusting- virtues that are non-existent in a mind of a child. Yes we still function but we’re broken nonetheless.

For the past few months, I’ve been praying for wisdom, prudence, discretion and a sense of responsibility for each of my nephews and nieces. I’ve also been asking God to protect them from untoward accidents and evil influences. Most of all, I’ve been praying for the Lord to lead us, their elders, into molding them into the persons who God called them to be. I pray that we be able to train them by the way they should go so that when they are old they will never depart from it.  With all these prayers, I can’t believe that I forgot another prayer; for us, their elders, to learn from the children about how to be like them- children.

Father, teach us how to be like a child again because in our search for our own ways, we seem to have forgotten that you also gave this commandment.

Abba, I know that my nephews and nieces will get chipped in some places but we ask you to lead us, their elders, so that we won’t be the reason for it. Fill us, both the elders and the children, with your Holy Spirit who will comfort and counsel us that whatever happens, our brokenness is made whole in your Son Jesus.

Amen.

Voice-activated

Wow! Three “Be still’s” in an hour- that may be some kind of record. First during morning devotional, the second via a podcast message, and the third one via a random pick on my Ipod. Was it for me? Or was it just a confirmation and encouragement for what I’ve been doing for the last few weeks.

If it’s the third one- Lord, I really needed that.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been repeatedly told to wait on the Lord and be still. To tell you frankly, I’m starting to doubt the message.  For crying out loud who encourages stillness nowadays?! In a society of hurry, hurry, and keep up, an attitude of stillness will wag a hundred tongues and raise a thousand eyebrows. Again, who?

God- that’s who!

Psalm 46: 10 tells us to “Be still and know that [He] is God.” The verse, the “logos”, seems simple but by God! The “rema” is crackling with electricity.

“Be!” By just a two-letter word, God tells us so much. “Be!” It’s a command. “Be!” This means that we are not but we should- “Be!”

“Be still!” Stop right there, cease every movement, drop everything else. “Be still!” Two words that rebukes and encourages at the same time. “Be still!” It means we aren’t.

“Be still and know!” The first command is not enough. “Be still and know!” It emphasizes diligence and not laziness. “Be still and know!” Shutting up and listening is not enough. “Be still and know!” Engage your mind. Do not just learn, do not just believe, do not just remember- know! It’s more than blind faith; it’s an assured, rational fact.

I AM GOD! What do you know that I don’t know? What have you learned that I have not taught you? What do you have that I have not given you? Without I AM, YOU ARE NOTHING!

I AM GOD! It’s forever in the present tense. Not ‘was’, not ‘will be’, and not ‘is going to be’. I AM GOD. God is always God. Whatever is happening; whatever you see; whatever you fear; whether you want it or not; whether you obey or not; whether you like it or not- I AM GOD!!!!

Isn’t that amazing? The God of heaven and earth, with the full arsenal of nature, science, technology, logic, miracles and everything else, takes a moment to remind us that He is GOD. He has everything in control. He has been doing this for eternity and you, mere mortal whose life is less than a blink of an eye, think that you know better?

Hear the reminder, feel the love, listen to the rebuke, and receive the encouragement. Ryan, the world may be destroyed, everything may crumble into nothing, and you may very well lose your life- in the chaos, just close your eyes, take a deep breath, no questions, no fear and without any worry- “Be still and know that He is God!”

(Note: The message ain’t for me. Shoutout to Karkie! Hehehe… Ingon pa lagi ba…I can’t be any stiller because if I’m any stiller, I will go backward…hehehe. Sorry sa late posting.)

(PS. The message was for me last month, iba na ngayon….Still asking for confirmation.)

30 lessons learned by a two-month Associate lawyer

1. Never believe anything an opponent throws at you. More often than not, they’re serving a selfish purpose. VERIFY!
2. Lawyers rarely pick up tabs, rarer than a Philippine Eagle. It should have been rarer than a T-rex.
3. You should always have a red line and an orange line; lines that you should never cross. Or if you do cross it (depending on the circumstance), it doesn’t mean that you should erase it.
4. Coffee is your best friend; deadlines are your worst enemies.
5. It’s a profession of appearance, so- APPEAR!
6. Do not be worried that your friends will ask for discount for notarial services, they’re often the ones who will pay the exact amount. I don’t know why but it’s true.
7. Balls of steel, nerves of ice. If you don’t have these, you’re in the wrong place.
8. Prepare, prepare, PREPARE!
9. If a judge eats you alive in court, you probably did not follow number 8.
10. Always have a pen; or at least the Iphone’s trusty voice memo.
11. Observe office hours, meaning you should be at the office by 9. Oh, by the way, office hours begin at 8:30 (late ka na!) and end whenever it ends. Lunch break depends on a client’s wristwatch and not yours. Court starts by 8.
12. Learn to save; believe me, there will be days when an Affidavit of Loss will save you from walking all the way home…to Toril.
13. Work hard; rest harder. Your sanity depends on it.
14. Observe margins: on your pleadings, your schedule, your finances, your life.
15. Count your blessings…because when all is said and done, you’re really, really blessed.
16. You’re a Christian who happens to be a lawyer. When in doubt about your profession, remember this!
17. Humility in victory, pride in defeat. In a compromise, be sure that you win! (Hehehe…)
18. There will be days when you’d like to NOT be a lawyer. My advise- go home and then come to the office the next day. Simple.
19. There will be clients who will be very difficult. If they’re REALLY difficult, say goodbye to your fees and refer them to other lawyers. If you can’t, a good effort is better than none. (Capisce?) Oh, btw, numbers 18 and 19 usually go together.
20. Legal problems will sprout like mushrooms whenever you’re around, problems that you did not know existed before. Well, it comes with the territory. Advise? Make mushroom soup.
21. Always take the first narration of facts by your client with a grain of salt. There will be things that they won’t tell you and sometimes, they will even lie straight to your face. Call them on it! It will save everyone’s time and effort the next time.
22. No one comes to a lawyer when everything’s fine. Negativity abounds. Be sure to stay positive. Nothing’s final until the Supreme Court says so.
23. War consists of several battles. Count your victories by the battles fought.
24. A lawyer is worth every penny he’s charging to the client. If you’re not, make sure that you become one as you address the client’s case. Ayaw kaulaw paningil…you’re charging them not merely by the span of time that you entertain them but also by the amount of time that they occupy your thoughts. You are also charging for the missed laag, missed parties, missed opportunities, girlfriends-that-you-would-have-had-otherwise, sleepless nights, heavy books- things that you did, or did not do, during law school. You are also charging them for the gallons of coffee that you are consuming so that you can read whatever you have to read, for the increasing creases on your forehead, and for that butterfly in your stomach every time you discover that your client lied to you…and most of all, they’re paying you for your future hospital bills.
25. A lawyer is not the panacea of all legal ills. You can’t solve everything. Just be sure that you gave your best effort. That’s the only assurance you can give. The rest is up to the Court and God.
26. You need a car- really! Preferably one with a built-in parking space. Hehehe….
27. Just because you’re a lawyer doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re better than anybody. If you have to be better at anything, be better at humility.
28. Truth is so sacred that it has to have a bodyguard of lies…or so one judge says. Hmmm….
29. If you think that reading is for law school only, think again. You probably have to read more because practice is now not just a question of law but more of facts. Hala, sige, try mo sagutin ang kaso mo na puro medical terms ang gamit nga wala’y basa-basa….mao na, BASA!!!!
30. ENJOY!

Upanishads

The Sanskrit term Upaniṣad derives from upa- (nearby), ni- (at the proper place, down) and ṣad (to sit) thus: "sitting down near"), implying sitting near a teacher to receive instruction or, alternatively, "sitting at the foot of … (teacher)", or "laying siege" to the teacher. (Source: Wikipedia)

Well. There’s no going on around it. I feel useless. Ako ay isang palamunin. For a Type A person, this is not acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong here. I AM NOT BEING LAZY. I’ve been raised in a family that values work. “If you don’t work, you don’t eat.” I can get a job and I believe that with my qualifications, I can. It’s not pride either. I don’t mind waiting tables, scrubbing pots and pans, even cleaning toilets. I‘m not an arrogant worker and I, in fact, like doing these things.

But there’s more to this than, well, THIS! I’m waiting on the Lord. Skeptics, you can lower your eyebrows now. I’ve been praying to God to lead me where He really wants me. I simply refuse to take another step unless there’s a clear direction from my God.

This is frustrating for someone who used to be concerned with what others think of him. But frustrated or not, I choose to wait. I know that God is building my character and crushing my pride. Guess what? I’m actually fine with it. (I just hope my father and my sisters are fine with it also. They assured me that they’re fine with it for the meantime. Hope they really are.)

I believe that God will answer soon. I will not be like Abraham who had Ishmael from an Egyptian slave because he did not wait for the fulfillment of God’s promise. If he just waited, his descendants would not have been slaved by the Egyptians themselves and the descendants of Ishmael and Isaac would not have had this enmity between them which is still present until today.

I choose to be like Joseph, faithful with what he has been entrusted in the present; in slavery, even in prison. I know that in God’s perfect timing, I will face my pharaoh and only then will I be able to look back and realize that my God has prepared me well.

I will sit at the feet of my Master and I will choose to learn. I will let Jesus fill me up to the brim with water (Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana). Only then will the guests realize that truly, the best wine is served last.

“[B] ut they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall run mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31). “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27: 14. Thank you Ye!). “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. xxx” (2 Peter 3:9)

Ryan, be still and know that He is God! (Psalm 46:10). ‘Di ba nga? For in His perfect timing, up ahead a light is shining and I know that dawn will be arriving…very soon.

(few months ago ni)

So you think you can IDOL the Voice? (Watta title? Aka X-Factor)

To the four people who are reading my notes, rest assured that I’m still doing my devotionals. I have several reflections in my trusty old yellow pad already that are just begging to be encoded. The title of this reflection will give you the idea of the reason. I watch SYTYCD (season 8 is now showing on AXN), the Voice and American Idol and the supposed time for encoding goes there. (Aside: Adolf, don’t you think that the show is aptly named? You know what an idol is right? It may very well be the reason why the American economy is tanking nowadays, what with the number one show with THAT in the title). Palusot #1.

Palusot #2. I’ve already told a friend that I’m cutting back on posting my reflections because I’m starting to feel proud about them. And for me, pride is a major weakness. So as not to be proud, I’ll just avoid the source altogether.

For the last few days, I have been frequently led to Isaiah 40. The chapter contains one of my all-time favorite verses (verse 31) and more often than not, my eyes get drawn to it every time I open my bible to that particular portion (Maybe because the verse is highlighted with a glowing orange Stabilo Boss marker). But these days, verse 26 is repeatedly calling my attention.

Most atheists nowadays are divided into two types: the egocentrics, those who think that they are the center of the universe; and those who are so awed by the universe itself. I have little else to say about the first type that has not been said already so I’ll just reflect on the second type. Besides I’m pretty sure that egocentrics are not interested in other things because they’re more interested with thinking how the world revolves around them as well. Only God can penetrate their perfect, little world and I’m sure He’ll do a better job of it than my pen can.

The second type of people, the people who are perpetually in awe of nature and heavenly bodies, are the people who constantly ask, “How?”, “Why?”, “What?”, and “When?” when all that matters is the “Who?” Most of these people are scientists, by that I mean both professionals and wannabes, thinking that everything can be explained. For them, if it cannot be explained then it doesn’t make sense. Either nature itself, or the explanation of its phenomena, becomes their idol. They are the seekers, the empiricists, the realists, the ones who will seek some things even if it’s right in front of them. These people cannot be contented. More often than not, they are the most voracious of learners and they have that very big vacuum inside their hearts that nothing, not even explanation itself, can satisfy. They are unquenchably thirsty and as they seek for something to quench that thirst and found nothing to satisfy it, they choose to rationalize it with the notion that there is nothing that can fill them and they just have to live with their thirst forever. They have to defend this belief or face the realization that they are still thirsty and cannot therefore sleep at night. They are prone to intellectual arrogance and would often regard people who believe things such as faith as intellectual inferiors, brainwashed into believing there is a God. Why? Because if there is a God, then all things can be explained and they have nothing else to seek after. And if there is nothing to seek after, then there is nothing to live for. Ever wonder how they still continue to discover something new even after a million years? Because they can’t help themselves.

That’s why most of them are aloof and dismissive of ordinary men because they can’t let anybody else know that they are afraid that mere laymen have already found the answer when they themselves can’t.

I’ll let you in on a secret. The very purpose of the heavens and sky is to declare God’s glory (Psalm 19:1). Why does light travel faster than anything else? To declare God’s glory. Why is the sky blue? To declare God’s glory. Why is a goat a goat and not a cat? To declare God’s glory! Everything is a great big billboard advertising a greater, bigger God. Jesus chose to speak in parables didn’t He? Nature and everything else that is happening nowadays is still His parable. Light travels faster than anything else (tentatively disproved by neutrinos) because it’s the first thing God spoke and it always has to reach darkness first before anything else happens. The sky is blue so that we’ll know that there will always be peace when God’s light is around. A goat is a goat because God is always a God and will never become anything else. “In the beginning God...” are the first five words of the bible and once you get this, the answers to the other wh- questions won’t matter (except if you are a professional scientist and actually have to rely on the answers in order to get paid.) God created everything through Him, and nothing was created except through Him- the Him being the “Who” we were talking about earlier- and if you don’t get this, none of the questions will truly be answered.

Francis Sellers Collins, an American physician-geneticist noted for his discoveries of disease genes and his leadership of the Human Genome Project (HGP), said in his book “The Language of God”, “Well, as a scientist who's also a believer, the chance to uncover the incredible intricacies of God's creation is an occasion of worship. To be able to look, for the first time in human history, at all three billion letters of the human DNA--which I think of as God's language--it gives us just a tiny glimpse into the amazing creative power of his mind. Every discovery that we now make in science [is], for me, a chance to worship him in a broader sense, to appreciate just in a small bit the amazing grandeur of his creation. It also helps me appreciate though that as a scientist, there are limits to the kinds of questions that science can answer. And that's where I have to turn to God and seek his answers. Science will tell me a lot about how things work. It will not tell me why we are all here, what the purpose is in life or what happens after we die. For that, I need my faith. And I'm grateful to be able to draw upon both of those ways of knowing in order to have a full appreciation of the wonderful gift of life that we've been given.” 

Granted, Collins may be laughed at by his scientific colleagues because of his faith but even that is biblical, "A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family." (Mark 6:4). Even Albert Einstein believed in God. The Encyclopedia Britannica says of Einstein: "Firmly denying atheism, Einstein expressed a belief in "[G]od who reveals himself in the harmony of what exists." This actually motivated his interest in science, as he once remarked to a young physicist: "I want to know how God created this world, I am not interested in this or that phenomenon, in the spectrum of this or that element. I want to know His thoughts, the rest are details." Einstein's famous epithet on the "uncertainty principle" was "God does not play dice" - and to him this was a real statement about a God in whom he believed. A famous saying of his was "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

Being raised in a logical society and a Christian home, it takes too much faith for me to believe that no one controls the universe. The precise distance of the earth from the sun, the precise tilt of the earth on its axis, and the precise temperature of the boiling point of water, etc., I can’t believe that no one ordained all these! It’s just too organized! Coupled with the fact that just one gust of wind out of place, one solar flare, one step out-of-sync and the world reverts to chaos- the default system spoken of in the Bible before God spoke everything into existence. I can’t believe that people choose to put faith on the theory that is likened into a 747 being exploded into a million tiny pieces with the debris randomly assembling in the air and becoming a 747 again after a million years. Give it a few hundred millennia and scientists may just be able to explain that but you know what? I can’t honestly tell you that I care about the explanation. I’ll just open my bible and choose to believe what my faith has led me to believe- that everything is a giant billboard advertising God’s glory.

Ryan, I suggest that you appreciate the universe and everything in it as a clear window glass. If all you see and seek to understand is the window glass, you’re entirely missing the point. The purpose of the glass is for you to see the beauty behind it. You can study and explain the glass but at the end, you just might explain explanation itself away. The point is for you to see the beauty outside the window and if you focus on the glass, you just might miss it.

Ryan, can’t you hear it? The Voice? The X-Factor? The One who nature itself idolizes? It’s pointing toward its Creator and His Kingship over them. It’s groaning, singing, shouting, and bowing its existence off. Never be caught asking “Why?” or “How?” Just close your eyes and groan, sing, shout and bow down as well.

Capsule: Oswald Chambers said, “If I am united with Jesus Christ, I hear God all the time through the devotion of hearing. A flower, a tree or a servant of God may convey God’s message to me.” What’s God’s message? Jesus is Lord!

Picking a fight with a giant

My sister has been telling me for a long-time to watch the movies “Facing the Giant” and “Fireproof”. I finally got to see both and immediately wondered why I didn’t watch it sooner.

I have several insights from both movies but since “Fireproof” deals with marital issues, I would rather reflect on “Facing the Giants” although I have to mention that the Fireproof OST single “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller answered my “waiting” prayers for the last few days. Talk about confirmation!

“Facing the Giants” is a movie about an underdog football team led by a Christian coach, who went on to win the State Championship. Being a fan of “Friday Night Lights”, another inspirational football story, I immediately took to the plot.

My first insight is about the death crawl scene. A player, Brock Kelley, was made to crawl the field blindfolded carrying a supposedly 140-pound teammate, using only his hands and feet. He was supposed to crawl only for 50 yards. Before he started, the coach asked him to promise that he will do his best and never give up. There was the expected grumbling followed by unbelieving taunts of a few teammates but Brock agreed.

My insight is that it’s oftentimes better that we don’t know what will happen in the end before tackling a difficult circumstance (a metaphor on the blindfold). God doesn’t tell us what’s in store, He just asks that we do our best and never give up.

Brock did just that and eventually reached the endzone (100^th yard) by death crawl, blindfolded, carrying a 160-pound teammate. If he was not blindfolded, he would just have given up on the 50^th yard. The going got tough but the tough got going. The coach encouraged Brock by telling him that moving forward through the good times, when Brock was still strong, isn’t as important as moving on when his own strength falters and his mind, body and soul can’t take it anymore.

God does things through us that we never expect if we only allow Him to use us for His purpose. His power is seen not because of our strength but in spite of our weakness. If only we won’t give up, we will see Him encouraging us, even pushing us at times… never leaving nor forsaking us.

The second insight I had was during the winning kick made by kicker David Childers. David was a second-string kicker whose record kick was just 39 yards. Because the first kicker broke a collar bone during the State Championship, David was made to kick during the last few seconds of the game. David doubted himself because aside from the fact that he was small, he was also just a second-stringer. Besides, they needed a 51 yard kick! David expected to lose even before he made the kick.

The coach asked David if he believed God can do it. David answered, “If He wants to!” The coach talked David up by saying that it was not David’s problem if he can make the 51 yard kick or not. David’s problem was to give his best and let God do the rest. Well, you know how it ends. “Don’t you ever let anyone ever tell you that you are under-par, second-rate, or inferior. I just watched God do a miracle through you. I saw a field of Giants, 85 of them to be exact, fall on their feet. Now you tell me what’s impossible with God?”

“Nothing, Coach!”

I learned a song when I was still in elementary. “Do my best…with Jesus as my strength I’ll do my best, He’ll do the rest” (Kid’s Praise 5). I’ve already forgotten the song. It’s nice to be reminded through a very inspiring movie.

I can do, yes, anything

Through Christ who strengthens me…

I just have to put my heart and mind straight to the test,

With Jesus and determination

“I will do my best!”

Father, please remind me everyday that I cannot control everything that happens but I can control what I can give. Teach me not to aim for perfection but for personal excellence. Remind me not to give up, not to relax, not to let go until I’m absolutely sure that I’ve given it my all, regardless of the outcome, in everything I do. For Your Name will be exalted not in what I will receive but in what I have given. Give me the faith, the perseverance, the heartfelt spirit of Paul in declaring, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Capsule: If you’ve already wrestled with God, do not be afraid to pick a fight with a giant!

OUCH!

“Never pray a prayer that you are not willing to be the answer to.” Pak! Guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

If ever there’s something you’re most guilty of these days Ryan, THIS IS IT! You keep on praying for others to know Jesus more but you’re just looking up at heaven, hoping that by some mystical experience, the “others” will just open up their bibles, pray on their knees and perhaps share their experience with you. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan- it doesn’t work like that!

You do know that Jesus Himself prayed,right? His disciples were often wondering where Jesus went on some occasions and guess where He was? Praying. But was Jesus contented with prayers? Never! He went out and backed His prayers up. He became the answer to His own prayers.

Isaiah’s account of how he was chosen by God (Isaiah 6) shows us that even God the Father prayed. He never prayed to someone higher than Him because no one is, but He did pray, or at least He wondered. “Who shall I send and who will go before us?” Even God the Father was hoping for an answer to His prayer- for someone to step up and heed His call. Isaiah then answered, “Here I am. Send me.”

Ryan, kaya mo ‘yon?

Ryan, faith can move mountains and prayers can make plains out of hills. But perhaps, God has already given you a shovel to start the process.

Prayers of Divine Intervention are well and good Ryan and you know it work wonders but maybe its time to bring out the big guns- the most dangerous prayer of all!!!! The two words that will change your world and your life… "Father, here I am, USE ME!”

OUCH!(again!)

“As much as I would like to care, I don’t!” Unfortunately, the quotable quote is uttered by nobody else but, you guessed it, me!

I’ve always had a problem with sympathy. Since childhood, I have learned to be self-sufficient and to make do with what life dealt me. This involved setting aside emotions and plodding on even when something overwhelms me. Power on, barrel through. Being raised in a society where you always have to choose ratio over pathos, I hate it when I get sucked in by my emotions. This could not have been more pronounced when I took a psychological test and the psychologist told me that I’m a cold person because I can turn my emotions on and off at will. She looked at me with something akin to pity and advised me to distance myself from other people who have the same personality as I do. My reply? “I have always strived to be that person.” Warped as it may seem, I am striving to be emotionless, or at least appear to be one. This is a continuing struggle because until now, I still believe that is good to be emotionless.

1 Peter 3:8 tells us that we should have sympathy. I just realized that I don’t have it. Being dealt with a shorter stick and having to make do with it has developed a sense of uncaring in me. I detest underachievers, whiners, pessimists and those who do not push themselves hard enough for my taste. Also, emotions tend to clam me up so I have this habit of exiting the situation so that I won’t have to deal with it. I have organized my life in nice, little compartments and emotions tend to jumble it all up. That’s why at the first sight of emotions’ head, “I’m outta here!”

Lord, I pray for sympathy. I need it so much. I need a heart that cares not because I’m expected to but because I can’t help but care. You are love personified and how can I follow you if I don’t even have a caring heart?

Ryan, no one wants to know what you know unless you care. You should seek to understand more than you seek to be understood. Sympathize! Give your heart to Jesus because you know that by itself, it’s broken. Let Jesus break it into pieces like the boy’s lunch of fish and bread that was able to feed a multitude. Pray that God will break it enough that it won’t matter if it becomes whole again.

Ryan, maybe, just maybe, you need a caring, understanding heart more than you need a rational, emotionless mind.

Oikos

I attended the cell group meeting of my brother-in-law and sister last night. Man, was I blessed! I know that the ideal cell group should be between 8-15 people but my sister’s house was jam-packed! There were easily around 30 people divided into two groups: the men and the women. This was a convenient setting because most of the attendees were spouses so the meeting doubled as their weekly dates.

I was chuckling a bit when I looked around the men when our meeting started. It was a bit odd to see the members take their writing notebooks out with excited faces and rummaging with their daily devotionals and reflections when sharing time came. JCIL (Jesus Christ is Lord Family Church) has a policy of requiring and checking personal devotionals weekly for attendance purposes. Apparently, it’s a big deal to always have your notebooks with you every time the group meets and I was inwardly smiling as I saw the other members who did not bring their devotionals get an uncomfortable look on their faces when sharing time came, much like a kindergarten kid caught without his homework. Remember, we’re talking about grown men here, most with teenage kids already. Recently, my brother-in-law actually got a memo from their pastor because he has not been submitting his devotionals regularly. LOL! To his credit, he has his devotionals daily but he just doesn’t like writing them down... or so he says.

Hairs at the back of my neck were standing up as I hear the men talk about the words that God had led them to read during the week and how it affected their resolve to continue living for the Lord. I have never been to a gathering of men who were so open with each other and the best thing was that there was no alcohol in sight! Talk about male bonding! What they had were cassava cakes, bananas, softdrinks, sandwiches and willing spirits. I’m actually grinning as I write this reflection.

Just goes to show that living a godly life need not be “boring” as most people think it is. Everybody was talking about their week, sharing their insights, praying for one another and generally making a ruckus. For what purpose? To encourage each other to continue serving the Lord. The stories were mostly about how they think they’ve faltered in their Christian journey ( just because they were not able to share the gospel to an unbeliever for the week!) and how they resolve to change their ways to better serve the Lord. The stories were ultimately irrelevant because the point was that they were there to encourage one another to stand up and not give up the race, knowing that everyone falters but that they still have a group of people who will accept them and pray for them. They have that genuine joy on their faces, bright smiles on their lips, twinkle in their eyes that not even an Oscar winner can fake. I actually felt a bit intrusive because what they’re doing felt so intimate, so family-like. What they have- whether you call it friendship, camaraderie, bonding, love for each other- is more than what most families have.

I can only imagine a time when the whole world will experience a joy like what I witnessed last night. An oikos, the Greek term for household, where everybody gets to be there for somebody else. They were not merely talking about the early Christian church in the bible but actually living it. I will attest to the fact that whatever they had did not end during the weekly meetings. My brother-in-law’s cell group mates were the ones who literally painted their house, installed electrical sockets and laid down the floor tiles when they had their house renovated. And their spouses were actually joking around with their head pastor to preach about having the husbands make the coffees of their wives every breakfast because they were sure their husbands will do it.

Oikos, cell group bonding, is a living and breathing manifestation of the choice of each of the persons present last night. “Choose now who you will serve”, says Joshua in the Old Testament. I can actually picture out my brother-in-law, sister and the rest of their respective cell group mates raising their bibles and tattered devotional notebooks with their right hand and holding a cassava cake with the other shouting, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

My cup overfloweth

“When you’ve flown as far as you can, you’re halfway there.”

-The Legend of the Guardians

I was immediately captured when I first heard the foregoing quote. For me, it represented diligence, self-reliance, positivity with a bit of cynicism thrown in; virtues that the world taught us as good and healthy. I bought it hook, line and sinker…but true enough, I only reached the half-way mark.

Notice that the quote focuses on the self as the main factor? Or the fact the “other” halfway or the source thereof was dismissed as unimportant to be mentioned. When I failed the bar on my first take, I started to see the quote from a different perspective. I got over my initial belief and wondered, “How will I get over the other half?”

I would caution any other prospective bar-takers from asking for a prayer, or any advice, from me. Why? Because they just might get offended if I refuse to pray that they pass the bar on the first take and instead pray for what they really need- which just might include falling flat on their faces and realizing that there’s more to life than passing the bar. I can’t, in good conscience, pray that they be deprived of an experience which I honestly consider as the best thing that could have happened to me.

"Failing does not mean that you are a failure." I heard that from a pastor I looked up to. Yes, it may cause you to play along the fringes of insanity and to bouts of overwhelming depression as times but you know what? It just might make you stop, notice and appreciate the good things that you have all along.

When I failed for the first time, love, the type that will not fluctuate and does not depend on what you have or don’t have, bombarded me from all angles. I felt it from my dad, from my stepmom, my brothers, sisters and friends who I thought all along were just there because I projected a perfect image. I told a good friend of mine who passed the bar on the first take, “I may not know how it feels to pass the bar on the first try but you will also not feel THIS- the outpouring of unconditional love that’s so real." Love, that I thought all along as something abstract, became the only real thing in my life.”

On my second try, many said it would be difficult; they were right. They said it would be hard; they were correct. They said it would be impossible- they could never have been more wrong!

This, whatever THIS is, is a shout-out to the “other half” who I realized were with me all along this quest, offering me their strength when I have nothing more to offer.

To my dad- the person who made it so much easier to treat God as Abba because he embodied all that is good about being a dad. He never said a word but just asked me if I wanted to take another review class, to which I declined. Ask any friend of mine who has met my father and they will extol his virtues far more than I could. Forgive me if I puff up my chest a bit and declare to the whole world, “Wala kayo sa tatay ko!”

To my stepmom- it would have been enough for you to love my dad as much as you have but for you to open up your heart, your family, and your self to me and my siblings simply takes my breath away every time I think of it. Tita Wilma, you are not merely the best stepmom that a stepson could ever ask for but also the best person that anyone could ever meet. I can’t give you a better compliment than saying that if everyone has your selflessness, the world will be heaven itself.

To my brother, sisters and siblings-in-law; the people who silently called me "Attorney" even when all I did was take a nap. I will forever thank God for letting me experience failure because if He hadn’t, I wouldn’t have seen that you all were the proverbial wind that make me soar. Each and every one of you; Kuya Allan, Ate Owie, Kuya Wilfred, Ate Lotlot, Kengkeng and Yeye - this is a toast to the experiences, the prayers, the bond that I have with each of you that I won’t ever have with anyone else.

To Tita Weng and Yenyen Monterola and Madelyn Escobar-people who did not flinch when I asked them for a very huge favor during the bar. I did not ask for the prayers of any other person except for my family and these persons because I know that they will not merely pray for a passing grade but will also pray for my soul, which is way more important than any privilege that any body can confer. God, our God, answers prayers!

To Sweet Balucanag- for letting me wallow in self-pity for a bit and held her usually acerbic tongue during my “depres-depresan” moments.

To the people of AJA law- Atty. William, Atty. Vimvim, Atty. Perc, who I must say developed the confidence in writing a memorandum during my stint as a legal researcher at their firm.

To other friends- too many to mention- who understood that I had to drop off from the edge of the world and drift in the chaotic world of laws, jurisprudence, legal concepts doctrines and consequently had to beg off from bonding moments. You were the anchor whenever I felt myself drifting off to the whirlpool of insanity. Special shout-out to a certain RTC judge who first saw my potential and affirmed my still fledgling confidence that I could be a lawyer when I was still a first year law student; the Police Colonel who picked up my tab whenever I took a breather and joined the law school bratpack for dinner and laag during the review; the HRM Department head, Ma’am Joy Soriano, of ACD who did not just believed in me but actually staked her professional credentials and reputation so that I can have a break when I needed it the most.

To the various cliques that I’m a member of- McJarm, Wet Marketers, U.T.O.G, Law school bratpack, IE class 02, Comm Arts class 05, Paragon 05 Sore group and various people I share a history with- cheers to you, cheers to us!

To the University of Mindanao Law School Department- for giving a chance to working students like me to pursue a chance for a membership to such a noble profession.

To my mom and several of my dogs up in heaven; to my relatives; to other friends and acquaintances who I shared a “season of life” with- THANKS!

To the PPC family, especially to Mam Ka, GNJ, SEP, Kit and Joyax- the ol’ gang together with Dheb- thank you soooo much! Four years of almost daily bonding will take a portion of my soul and just like a salted egg inside a Tai Thong Mooncake, our memories are lodged in a special place inside me.

To my God, the Alpha and the Omega, the Lifter of my head and the Source of all my springs- when other people see their cups s either half-full or half-empty, you have shown me that as your adopted son, my cup will always overflow. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life because you are my God and I know that whatever happens, even when I myself is trying to let go, You would hold me fast and would rather die than see me in hell.

(I’ve decided to re-post a portion of my note entitled “Sun and Moon” to wrap this up. Kapoy na man gud sulat….)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “When you keep on telling someone that he is superman, somehow, somewhere, he just might believe you.” I’ve had some very humbling experience on the matter so believe me. I was a simple person, living a simple life, who stumbled upon victory after victory after victory during my late teen years and early twenties. When people asked me how’d I do it, I pointed to heaven and say, “To God be the glory!” I pointed and pointed…until I stopped pointing. Every time I’m faced with a particularly heavy task, people will tell me, “Kaya mo ‘yan! Kaw pa!” I didn’t know where they got the idea because I truly did not know how I did all the other stuff- but stupid me, I started to believe them.

See, I sorta become addicted to approval. Because of the pressure of proving myself, I began to take on more than I can chew just to show the world that yes, I just maybe Superman. I did it again, and again, until I couldn’t do it anymore. I began to lose my trust in Him. I began rooting my confidence on all the wrong things- my looks, my job, my accomplishments. I forgot that I was supposed to give glory and not get glory for myself.

I reflected on a previous post on how God provided a great fish to swallow Jonah. The fish was not to get back at Jonah but to lead him back to God. God, in his mercy, provided the same for me. Okay, maybe not a great fish but a series of small and mid-sized “fishes” that eventually left me with nothing. The things that I rooted my confidence on began to disappear one by one. To a former model, the worst thing is to lose your looks; to a person who has had always had a job, the worst thing is to be unemployed; to a control freak, the worst thing is to wonder what went wrong; to someone who was used to a fast lifestyle, the worst thing is to wait; to an achiever, the worst thing is to fail.

I failed spectacularly!

It’s no secret that I hit rock-bottom last year. My mind was playing along the boundaries of insanity and my heart was just…empty. To top it all off, I hit thirty. To someone touted as the most likely to succeed in his class, I had nothing when the big three-oh came. Then, my dear dog Toyi-toyi died…You want rock-bottom? I’ll give you rock bottom.

Then, on one of my morning devotions, God lead me to Psalm 61. “Hear my cry O Lord, attend to my prayers…lead me to the rock that’s higher than I.” It’s as if God was speaking to me face to face. “Yes, this is rock bottom. But have you forgotten who your rock is?” That morning, I almost cried my eyes off. I began to understand who God is- my God. He allowed each and every mishap I had so that I’ll rely on Him again.

For now, I’m starting to get my mojo back. But one thing that I pray for daily is that instead of shining like the sun, to be the just like the moon. The phases of the moon simply reflect its degree of exposure to the sun. I’m exposing my whole mind, my whole heart, my soul, my strengths, my weaknesses, my failures and accomplishments, my talents and abilities to Him and Him alone, praying that like the moon, I will only shine fully when nothing stands in the way of my God and me- in much the same way that the moon fully shines only when nothing, especially the world, is blocking the sun.

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

 You know my sitting down and my rising up;

         You understand my thought afar off.

 You comprehend my path and my lying down,

         And are acquainted with all my ways.

 For there is not a word on my tongue,

         But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.

 You have hedged me behind and before,

         And laid Your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

         It is high, I cannot attain it.

 Where can I go from Your Spirit?

         Or where can I flee from Your presence?

 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

 If I take the wings of the morning,

         And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

 Even there Your hand shall lead me,

         And Your right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”

         Even the night shall be light about me;

 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

         But the night shines as the day;

         The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

 For You formed my inward parts;

         You covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

         Marvelous are Your works,

         And that my soul knows very well.

 My frame was not hidden from You,

         When I was made in secret,

         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

         And in Your book they all were written,

         The days fashioned for me,

         When as yet there were none of them.

 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

         How great is the sum of them!

 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

         When I awake, I am still with You.

For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;

         You are my trust from my youth.

 By You I have been upheld from birth;

         You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb.

         My praise shall be continually of You.

 I have become as a wonder to many,

         But You are my strong refuge.

 Let my mouth be filled with Your praise

         And with Your glory all the day.

 But I will hope continually,

         And will praise You yet more and more.

 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness

         And Your salvation all the day,

         For I do not know their limits.

 I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD;

         I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.

 O God, You have taught me from my youth;

         And to this day I declare Your wondrous works.

 Now also when I am old and grayheaded,

         O God, do not forsake me,

         Until I declare Your strength to this generation,

         Your power to everyone who is to come.

 Also Your righteousness, O God, is very high,

         You who have done great things;

         O God, who is like You?

 You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,

         Shall revive me again,

         And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

 You shall increase my greatness,

         And comfort me on every side.

(Ps. 139: 1-18, Ps. 71: 5-8, 14-21)

All the glory, power and honor belong to my God!